Could anything possibly be more in-line with our mission of comin’ atcha with pertinent information for the dog-loving New Yorker than the freakin’ NYC Pet Show?! The Show is held over two days and is jam-packed with panel discussions, seminars, and other activities — and you’re darn tootin’ you can bring Mr. Bojangles with you!

Also, Cesar Millan is gonna be there. The Dog Whisperer! The man responsible for teaching people that they own their dogs and not the other way around. Dude can walk like a billion dogs at one time, no problem. Some say he speaks their language. Others say his leg jiggles when you scratch behind his right ear. Still more contend that when he weeps, puppies appear from nowhere to lap up his tears. We can all agree that he’s brilliant and his fame is well deserved. And you, yes YOU, and Mr. Bo Jangles if you bring him, can meet the Man, the Myth, the Legend that is Cesar Millan.

There will also be a bunch of other industry experts in attendance to answer all of your burning questions if Mr. Millan can’t be reached behind a wall of screaming fans (though I hear that when riots broke out in LA, Millan snapped his fingers and thousands of rioters sat, thus ending major civil unrest. So maybe you’ll have a chance).

Other totally freaking awesome programming includes seminars on money-saving pet tips, auditions to see if your pet is the next big animal actor (that is so New York it hurts), a pet caricaturist so you can see what Mr. Bojangles would look like playing baseball or possibly riding a convertible, and FREE dog training classes!

I’ll be there with a couple of fellas from the NYC Pooch team, snappin’ pics and doing some fabulous reporting and hopefully being able to shake Cesar Millan’s hand because rumor has it that his touch confers the ability to “tsst” your way to world domination.

So, to recap:

WHAT? The NYC Pet Show!
WHERE? Metropolitan Pavilion, 125 West 18th St.
WHEN? This weekend, May 22 and 23! 11:00 am to 5 pm daily.
HOW MUCH? $20 in advance (you can purchase on the site), $25 at the door.
WHY? Because I just read that once Cesar Millan pets your dog, all its fleas stop biting out of fear of disappointing him.

One of the things I love most about New York is that once it gets warm, there’s tons of stuff to do outside. And the more you can do outside, the more you can do with your pup! So we’ll be featuring local dog-friendly events and activities to get you both out of the house and into the streets.

Street fairs and festivals are all over the City almost every weekend, and they’re a great way to get out with your buddy. NYC Street Fairs has a great schedule of a ton of fairs and festivals happening around town. While these all look like great events to soak up some rays, sample tasty foods, and buy shit you don’t need, use your best judgment when it comes to taking your pooch along.

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Now, seriously, is there anything better than a puppy in a sombrero?

Oh, wait. There is. The Puppy Pinata. The description from the Web site:

Puppy Pinata gives dog owners the pleasure of fulfilling their dog’s desire to work for their treat. We have done all the work of stuffing the toy for you, and now you can give your dog a toy and a treat all in one. The stimulating Puppy Pinata toy with treats inside will allow your dog to release his inner drive to hunt and work for his food.

Like a Kong. Only cuter. And more violent. YES! I mean… ¡SI!

In Australia, a blind man and his lady friend were refused entry to a Thai restaurant.

When the woman mentioned their accompanying “guide dog,” the staff thought she said “gay dog.” And gay dogs will not — no sir, CAN not — be served at this fine establishment. Tarnishes the reputation, see.

If you find yourself a little confused by the situation, consider the following rationale from the restaurant owners:

“The staff genuinely believed that Nudge was an ordinary pet dog which had been desexed to become a gay dog,” the owners said in a statement to South Australia’s Equal Opportunity Tribunal.

Ohhhh, that makes much more sense.

Folks, might I recommend in light of this case that you not spay and neuter your pets, as they could become Totally Gay. If you’ve already made the mistake, lucky for you, NYC Pride 2010 is right around the corner.

I’ll be marching with the Gay Dogs’ Liberation Front.

This just came to my inbox:

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Oriental street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

—

You think I can get that pup “to go”?

I was just hangin’ out on the ol’ Internet when I stumbled upon an the “Pup to Go.” I thought, “Is that a new fast food?”

“I’ll take one pup to go, an order of fries, and a large Coke.” Hey, with the dawn of the double down, nothing surprises me any more.

But nope, the Pup to Go is not edible. It’s just really, really silly.

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… And that means it’s time to hit the PARKS!

We live in a big, stinky, crowded, expensive city made of concrete. It’s no surprise that when the weather’s fine, we flock to the nearest green space, out of skyscraper shadows and offices that would deem indoor frisbee tossing “unprofessional” instead of “totally awesome.” Add dogs to this mix, and your local park goes from an ok way to spend a lazy Sunday to:

HECK YES WE ARE GOING TO THE PARK.

Did you know that NYC has about 29,000 acres of park?! That’s so much park! And the City does a great job of accommodating dogs. There’s something for every pooch and pal: from dog runs, where you can let Bubbles run wild in a fenced-in area, to designated off-leash times, where YimYams and ChooChoo can sniff around at their favorite park while you chat over a frappucino-to-go.

In Manhattan alone, there are 29 dog-friendly locales. Central Park is beautiful, but in all its iconic glory, it tends to get pretty gosh-darned packed. I’m a Riverside kind of girl, myself. Hard to go wrong with a beautiful breeze coming off the water while you walk.

Going to the park is a deliberate escape from the hustle and bustle. Set aside that time to enjoy the sunshine, feel the grass between your toes, and watch your fave pooch finally get a chance to stretch her legs in some good old tongue-lollin’ fun. You’ll both be happier for it!

I was out on this GORGEOUS day, strollin’ in the sunshine with some serious pep in my step, keys a-janglin’, dogs a-trottin’, just loving the heck out of ol’ West Harlem soaked in the first inklings of Springtime.

Until I realized something terrible. All my dogs have more friends than I do.

The adorable Frenchie, Digby (pictured left, and who you may remember from Halloween), is best friends with Liesl, a spunky black mutt with a penchant for wrastlin’. I walk them together pretty much every day, after they get in a good round of playing-that-looks-like-fighting-but-isn’t. Digby and Liesl get to see at least a billion other neighborhood dogs almost every morning when their owners take them to the park for off-leash doggie socializing time.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t get to see my best friend every day. Heck, to be honest, I don’t know if I could stand to. Not that my best friend’s not great and all, but after a while you run out of things to talk about, and then what do you do?

But dogs, they can see each other every single day and never get tired of each other. Digby and Liesl go through the same motions every time: We get to Liesl’s house, and I have to muster up the muscles to restrain Digby long enough to get his leash off before he flies at Liesl’s back legs and starts gnawing on her. Then Liesl grabs Digby by the throat and sort of chews a little bit (Digby’s favorite), and it goes on like this for a few minutes until I pull them apart and we go on our walk. Every. Single. Day.

They never say, “You know, I just don’t feel like playfighting today, why don’t we just watch a movie?” They meet their pooch pals and have a great time like they hadn’t seen each other in years.

I grew up in the suburbs, and I had quite a few dogs. I also had a backyard big enough for them to run around in all day, so there wasn’t really any socializing among neighborhood dogs. When there was, it was usually in the form of a fight which was probably brought on by some territorial issues.

City dogs are this amazing breed unto themselves, with entire social lives and a completely different way of navigating their worlds. Since this is the Doggy Bloggy of the best dang dogwalking company around, I’m shifting the focus of this shindig to the best dang dogs around: NYC Pooches.

So from here on out, expect news, stories, and pictures of New York City dogs, in all their swanky, totally popular glory. I’ll try not to get too jealous.

From the New York Daily News (WARNING: graphic video at the end of the article, view at your own risk): Maria Aguilar of Queens has been routinely beating her 11-month-old English bulldog with a snow shovel. Her husband has taken the pup to the vet 12 times in the past 7 months for treatment relating to “a hip fracture, a broken leg, three broken teeth and injuries to his ears,” as well as blindness in one of his eyes.

Spike sustained multiple lifelong injuries at the hands of his owner.

Aguilar was arrested for aggravated animal cruelty and possession of a weapon, and thank goodness for that. The world can be a seriously messed up place, and sometimes it seems like that’s just the way it is. War and natural disaster and hunger and on and on, it all makes me wonder if we’re not just along for some out of control rollercoaster ride. But then something like this happens.

A person takes a puppy (can you GET much cuter than a bulldog puppy?), and instead of loving and nourishing it and getting a cuddly long-term companion… She beats it. She INTENTIONALLY misuses the trust he’s placed in her as a provider and leader of the pack. She DELIBERATELY inflicts lifelong pain, potentially turning that animal from someone’s best friend into a mean, angry dog who growls and bites people because he’s in constant pain, and because the person who was supposed to love him only showed him that those things on two legs do nothing but hurt. That is nothing but pure self-made cruelty.

Puppies don’t often just fall into one’s home, and they certainly don’t stay there by accident. You have to go out and get a puppy. You have to think, “I’m gonna feed it and take it outside” at the very least. It’s sizable commitment. Oftentimes when you hear about animal cruelty cases like this one, the animal “did something” animals do: maybe it chewed through a wire or had a few accidents, and the moron owner thought a puppy was going to come housetrained and bring in the paper every morning. When they realize that’s not how puppies are, they beat it, expecting it to get the hint.

We don’t know the details of the abuse. I couldn’t find a statement from Aguilar as to why she did this. Not that anything she could have possibly said would have excused or justified her behavior, but maybe hearing something from her could provide some inspiration into ways to get people to stop thinking this is ok. Like widely available information on the nearest shelter that you can drop an unwanted animal off at any time. Or free or low-cost neighborhood puppy (and owner) training classes. Or a foster care system where people can “practice” caring for an animal for a few weeks at a time.

If nothing else, I hope Aguilar’s sentence includes some mandatory psychological counseling. Anyone who can do that to a defenseless animal needs help, and lots of it.

First of all, there is something wrong with you if you haven’t seen the movie Cool Runnings and thus don’t read the title of this post and automatically become FILLED WITH JOY. I won’t blame you for this flaw in your character. All you have to do is add it to your NetFlix queue right now. I’ll wait.

Great! Now that you’re all set to watch the most inspiring movie OF ALL TIME other than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we can get to the meat of today’s doggy bloggy goodness: Jamaican dogsledding!

Now, it may sound crazy, but if Cool Runnings tells us anything, it’s that Jamaicans can totally rock snow sports despite average temperatures of 80-90°F. Newton Marshall is Jamaica’s hopeful in the 2010 Iditarod Sled Dog Race this coming weekend. The race is 1,868 km kilometers (or 1,161 miles, if you’re like me and don’t know a darn thing about the Rest of the World’s system of measurement) and temperatures can reach -100°F. No, Toto, we are not in Kingston any more.

And did I mention that the team is sponsored by Jimmy Buffet?

Image taken from Ben's Breakfast Blog.

(Don’t hold that against them.)